WHAT HAVE YOU WISHED FOR?

WHAT HAVE YOU WISHED FOR?

I have so many things i have found my human self wanting. What u ask? Silly things like being part of a certain crowd, having certain friends and being able to do certain things. I think i have gotten certain things i thought to myself i wanted. But i realised i should have made conditions with them. I don’t know if i can say God or the universe gave me what i wanted, and the phrase "be careful what you wish for", well i beyond understand it "words are powerful" even not said out loud. We have had certain friends which when, parents tell you know these are not the type of people you need to hang with rebelled and hang with them anyway. Until they derail you emotionally physically, get some reputation you don’t need ,go against morals that you set for yourself because friends might do things for you that you think you, in a way owe them. You do certain things unconsciously. Everyday i thank God for allowing me to go through the bad times, bad people and helped me grow and not fall prey to a certain situation.

Gets me thinking when elders say "we were once your age", you wonder what they went through. Life is a journey and it’s about making mistakes. Sadly i have found myself making certain mistakes over and over and only realise when it’s been done. I wish i could tattoo them all so it sinks in "skin deep", but the time i do take to realise the mistakes, situations is now shorter and helps me recover sooner. So its only a matter of time till i stop making the mistakes. Well are they mistakes? I ask myself. Maybe because it all happens the same way i keep thinking to myself its a mistake because it ends with me with ‘egg on my face’ *yuck*. I seem to be making the same mistake over and over again as if my mind or some part of me is expecting it to happen the right way. Like try, try; try again if at first you don’t succeed. I wish i could try, and if it doesn’t work destroy all evidence that i even tried to the world and those who were part of the failed attempts.

I’m hoping by the end of the year i will somehow have gotten the tattoos to remind me, and of cause they will be in invisible ink! Would not want to get the side-eye from this judgemental world. I’m fine with being judged for my randomness, the tattoos would just add to much attention. LOL

Her Thoughts

I feel used; people tend to take me as just almost the right size to fit a
void like a puzzle.  And when the piece of their life I was filling in for, well rather "feeling" in for
comes, I’m sent to the shredder.  But how many times can I be shredded and
put back together?  I always reassemble glue and tape, kind of like trying
to solve a case in C.S.I , you  know when they put the pieces of shredded paper
back together.  But it’s never perfect is it? The more you shred the harder it
is to put back.  Best idea would be to print a new copy and make it colour.
But copy means:" a replica which just looks like the original but actually
isn't."

Ah this life of mine is a circle really it is, events happen over and over I
don’t realize it till the new one is coming to an end and I go through my set
chapters of my life but I always get new characters, that I will get into
some other time. I noticed and I think it’s interesting like this
verse “
*Ecclesiastes 1 vs 10 ‘is there anything of which it may be said, “see, this is new”?* *It
has already been in ancient times before us”.* This helps me go thru the bad
day’s times and wonder if anyone else in the world is going thru a bad hair
day, heartache, have they lost someone in life etc.