Learning to unwant something..

Is it possible... that u can go through a period when you want something that somehow seems yours and then again you might be mistaken.
the universe        playing tricks maybe... that you having being in the right place at the right time ,.... and other forces lets say opposite of fate will put little devils on your shoulder and tell you not be be there but fighting sleep.. fighting all that seem like obstacles you end up in that place... the signs point to it in big bright lights " first street back in the day .. the big shabang or like on tv Vegas or what they show.............  but then the lights go off like what the?  dear universe are you having global issues with power .. should i light you up with my passion... so im tired of the faulty lights .. or are they faulty .. maybe time for light bulb change all 1,063 of them but then again i think i changed a few and i must have put in the wrong type.....

Divine  intervention(Divine Intervention The hand of God holds the universe together and makes everything work. Science is a conspiracy theory put forth by the devil and his satanic angels to forward the ideas of determinism.) yes let God change the bulbs light the way ... i need to get my heart lit up .........................

 Lights there is a force or some form of attraction we cant explain maybe it has been but yah anyway " follow the light"   except when its early in the morning and someone forces open the curtain and you aren't ready for the light.. i think i was somewhat ready but these power issues my goodness ,.. talk about have a girl thinking she is crazy ..... need a proper back up solution that either has power all the time or a fixed schedule  ...  Day and night yes i get it the stars are in existent for a reason but sometimes we get so acustomed to the light we say the day does not have enough hours but the night needs to exist we cant have it all well u could find a place in the world were the sun never goes down.. but one day the human in you will open a door close the blinds and not want a drop of light ...darkness.. you know the light will be there when you open up .. well you hope it will be until you only manage to sleep for an hour and feels like you slept for ever and wake up and still light ...............

to be continued............................

THE MOTIONS OF THE WEEK

what a busy week.... trials miyedzo....  multi tasking on a whole other level...   monday started had a plan .. the day didnt go according to my plan 

this week i have been hearing a lot of wise word.. or rather i have been listening more.. CAREFULLY

around mid week i had the biggest challenge well making bookings VISA; dealing with people via email and phone and i was so frusrtrated most was not my fault but yah in the moment you dont quite get that .. its all stress maiwe zvangu "it cant why why"  and i remember trying to make a transfer it was a crazy day and  panic panic panic .. anxiety all had consumed me ..and i was talking to one of the ladies assisting me " in that moment i listened .. her words "dont worry " it wasn't loud like she stood on top of a mountain okay maybe a chair and got my attention.. but it was a normal calm voice "DOnt worry " she spoke to me.... i would say she spoke to my soul might be too much ,, but she spoke to my anxieties and my crazy It ant thoughts..

as the week went on i listened a bit more .  

"the day was set already you just have to go through the motions"  interesting i thought

my fav bit of knowledge that spoke to me was the bit on "great things are born from a struggle"

good references from the Bible 

Peninnah  and Hannah (Hannah bore the first prophet, Samuel is it?)

Birth of Leah 

Birth of Joseph 

great people born from a struggle of some sort... my week was hectic ..

but it is ending with anxiety at 0.5 % .  God is good ... the good shepherd ....  

The Corporate Madam

The Corporate Madam

Here she is a year later and a couple months , ... lets start from the beginning

i think i approached work with a stepping on egg shells kinda work experience.   the hunger to learn but also to knowing not to step over certain boundaries "that's not my job thinking" but when i did do that, it felt as if i was stabbing well not stabbing maybe chocking myself ,, i didn't like the feeling of not doing something.  but with time i learnt how certain things did work.  some i am still learning but sometimes its better to assist you never know how one will appreciate the assistance but not everyone.

i have friends who always told me how lucky i am to have got a Job out of uni and some having being looking for sometime,  .  but as much as i feel i have a degree education, work is a different type of class and lecture,  nothing those distinctions will teach you.   im trying to remember if they ever told me to enjoy those one month to three month vacations even those long weekends.. God bless South Africa and all their public holidays , i miss them..   i started off basically work at 8 am knock off at 5 pm straight on the dot.  like aint gotta tell me twice . enjoyed my weekends.  and i switched departments wow it was interesting hello coming to work on weekends and i realized we had very few public holidays in Zimbabwe like really how why? i didnt remember this because last holidays were school holidays always long.. ok back to my point they never told you to enjoy holidays because success comes with no breaks,, i think to myself sometimes how i would love a break but the hunger and diet of constant(consistency is key) learning has me staying put availing myself to learn as much as i can.   i was thinking what super hero would i be i thought hulk but maybe emotionally .uni needs a module on emotions i remember communication like space interpersonal blah blah theory is so over rated--the real thing is deep like gosh i could drown.. i think i did a couple of times and yes i Came back to life (bad ass remember i am somewhat of a super hero in the making maybe spider man still deciding) .....back to the point people stress is not that little beef or not talking to people. u kinda build a family and then again you become part of a brand .  so what ever you do especially externally you need to smile... deal with customers best your can.  after all without them you wont have a job.  and i learnt about internal customers yah m,,those are super important .  you wont get along with everyone but does not mean you have to go out of your way to go to war.. but that will be another post.  this post is more a rant of how far iv come and how much iv learnt im not a car girl but i found myself in charge of a fleet of 6 cars and an interesting team that had to drive them..  i had no idea it was like Greek someone would tell me what car they want by telling me the make and even shocking to me then the number plate.   im like how do you even do that.  i learnt how to calculate fuel per kilometers and i was like huh at first like i always heard someone say oh i need 5litres chcichi and never got how far especially with distance (km),, with a few sessions with the boys who tried to con me (those make you stronger situations) im like a verbal theoretical mechanic.  and yes getting everyone to prove where they  were absolutely the best part .. when u realize when you have been had.. its an aha kinda moment like you aint going to fool me twice.  

i will leave it at that will share more of how iv grown and how the School lecture of work is going..

 hope you enjoyed this burst of a rant from this corporate madam